Confessions of a libyan girl

I think the title says it all!

Location: Benghazi, Libya

Monday, April 05, 2010

im still around!!

its been years since ive blogged.. wow how time has flown by.. and i kinda forgot about this blog.. but to update you guys (if there is anyone still checking on the blog hehe (yay!) im here in benghazi, in my last year of medical school and im getting married in september (ya long engagements suck! but allah 3'alab, the rents insist that i finish school first before i get married.. ) so i will continue to blog very soon.. kinda busy with the wedding planning and the exams.. and how things run on "libyan" time so nothing gets done lol.. but for those who would like to know.. do i still love libya the same way i did almost 5 yrs ago? yes of course i do.. would i change my mind and leave libya to go back to canada? nope not at all! :) im very happy here .. yes there are ups and downs living in libya but something about jow libya the life, the people the sea the culture makes it worth it.. makes me happy that im here and it seems weird now that i used to live in canada .. it seems like it was another life.. (i still go visit couple times a year whenever i have a break) but i still love libya. anyway i really have to get going but thank you to those who keep checking my blog - i really appreciate it. i will continue to blog as soon as possible :) so stay tuned :)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

3 degrees clarification.. and the naseeb thing too :P

alrighty, so here I am on blog post numero 2 and I thought before I actually post my other blog (which is in process.. remember... thinking stage .. procrastination?... Great you've been following along quite well :P) ok.. so my three degrees.. let me tell you how it came about..

first of all, I have not completed 3. I have completed 2 and the third one is still in progress.. Ya3ni mazal its not done yet. I started university in the faculty of science hoping that I would not have to complete a science degree and just get into medical school after 2 years. So all this time I was going around telling people, "Ya I'm in science but i really want medicine, so I mean I will be ditching this place as soon as the good old faculty of med school call me up and be like "hey you're in" and my response would be like "took you long enough" :P But it didn't happen that way unfortunately hehehe.. let me explain..

I wanted to impress the folks at the faculty.. so I thought I would enroll in the most difficult, most challenging program.. just to get them to be like "wow.. What's she still doing there... get her into our program!!" and then there I would be like, "well if you really want me too... fine I guess I can leave them for you" (remember.. I had everything planned out soooo well!! I would do two years of undergrad, get into medicine.. become this superstar doctor and discover something and be uber rich) ... nice dream right? well somehow along the way .. reality came along and knocked on my door... let me explain..

Remember how I said I would pick the hardest program... I chose biochemistry.. Don't get me wrong.. I think it is a very good program.. and not hard for those who don't procrastinate.. but ya.. so you get the idea here... anyway.. 2 years of hell.. ermmm I mean biochemistry and I was ready to write the infamous mcat.. see the problem with me.. is that people affect the way I think.. so unfortunately I got to meet the "pre-med" group (every city, province, state, territory, island, you name it has this group..). They are incredible gifted in the art of scaring the competition.. so to make a long story short... they used their scare tactic to psyche me out (not just me.. many other poor fellow students) on this exam.. so instead of studying for the exam .. I basically panicked instead...(not recommended for anyone... why? read on you will see why..) so I decided the night before the mcat I would not enter. My parents convinced me that it was ok to be worried and that at least to enter it just to see how it "feels" like. This way, second time around I would be prepared and at the same time the environment would be more familiar. So I entered the mcat and you know what it wasn't so bad.. the whole time I was like if only I just studied instead of panicked.. but ahoo naseeb what can you do. I left the exam and months later.. I got my results only to find that I had passed all the sections except one.. After that, I decided to just get myself together and work hard and write that dumb mcat and pass and then I could go on with my already laid out life I had planned for myself.. (but boy would I learn something... life doesn't go as planned.. but wait I'm getting ahead of myself.. the "moral learned section is supposed to be in the end of this... Ok ok... going back) so going back to the chosen biochemistry major.. I think its an interesting subject.. but when you have a prof that doesn't know anything and cant answer questions in class.. gives incredibly hard assignments for an undergrad level.. and forgets to make enough copies of the final for the class (serious this did happen.. she photocopied 25 exams for 150 students..hmmm *no comment*) and well life isn't fun with biochemistry... it doesn't help that the lab TA thinks we're out to get him either.. He always thought his students were up to something.. poor fellow.. anyway with a small campus.. and well only one biochem prof and one lab TA, I decided that biochem was not the way for me and I needed a high average to be competitive enough for med school.. so what did I do? a more stupid decision.. I looked at the many electives and classes I took and realized that I was not that far away from completing a chemistry degree... (do not ever do this ... go by interest.. not how many you have left!!) So I became a chemistry major.. and I regretted it.. I should have stuck with biochemistry.. Ya sure chem had a lot more classes and a lot more profs.. but it was incredibly harder than biochemistry.. (the subject that I thought was like the mother of all subjects) ... but whatever.. I did this to myself and stuck with it.. because well I like challenges and I wasn't about to whimp out of chemistry either (funny... I remember in Grade 12, as I was handing in my chemistry final.. I told my prof that I would never take a chemistry class again!...) Anyway during my final year in chemistry (I was 22) I decided to take a psychology class as an "average booster" and who would have thought that it would take one amazing professor to make me fall in love with psychology. Everything about it I found fascinating! It was great because it had to do with the study of the mind and the study of people.. not like chemistry.. which I found rather dry. So then I took more classes.. and luckily (or should I say Subhan-Allah) I had taken my fine arts requirements and social sciences requirements as electives in previous years so I could easily do another degree! I asked about this and was true I could be getting a second degree ontop of the chemistry one.. but it required me to work all year long. I overloaded on both of my last semesters.. I graduated in May with my chemistry (B.Sc) and in the spring semester I also overloaded with psychology classes..and then there was my final class that I took in July (it was an intense class since it was only a month long!! it was 4 months of work put into 1 month!! ) and then in October I graduated with my B.A.

Although I was able to complete the 2 degrees in a little over 5 years, I made a sacrifice. I never entered the mcat after that first time.. for a while I forgot about medicine.. but during this time I grew up.. I realized that you cant plan life.. I mean you can set goals of what you want to accomplish but you cant expect for everything to unfold as planned... but at the same time, everything happens for a reason.. and sure my plan of getting into med school has been delayed but I got to do so many other things that I would have not been able to do had I followed my yellow brick road..) Had I gotten into med school in Canada, I would have not been able to go to Libya as much as I do now because of my studies and school schedule. If this were the case, I would have never met my fiancee (so ya that should answer the person from the comments posting). Also, had I got into med school here, I probably could not do what I wanted to do in Libya: live there and be part of the society there and do my part to make it a better place ( if you're going to post something in the comments saying that I'm dreaming or it will never work etc.. save your post, I've already got them before :P but I'm still here and I'm still saying it so nothing has changed :) I am still determined!) ... so ya I am very happy and satisfied of how everything turned out.. Obviously Allah subhana wata3ala knows best and I am glad that this is how everything turned out.. now some of you are probably like.. ok so the third degree? ok so dreams do come true if you hold onto them.. and you never give up... (keep this with you because I am living proof that dreams come true). When I was in Libya, I decided that I would apply into medical school anyway and see if there is naseeb, it means that I am meant to be a doctor, if not I would accept this and just go on with life, afterall I have decided that I will live in libya and because of this, I can't do medical school here, in canada. If I do decide to specialize, I could come back here to Canada and do so, but for now, I really have my mind set on living in libya for a while... so I did my interview there, and I got in. So now, I have paused my studies in Libya for the year.. because really I need this year off to relax and get my mind cleared and ready for medical school.. (I was put through bootcamp before in getting the 2 degrees) so now I am working as an echo technician and just relaxing... i guess you could call it therapy..after "post-dramatic stress" and insha-Allah, if all goes well, I will be starting the 3rd one in the fall... so ok I think that does it.. and I think I clarified everything.. at least I hope so lol .. and hopefully some of you who read this will be saved from doing my mistakes.. but again.. you never know.. everything that happens.. no matter how bad it is... is definetly a blessing in disguise :) as I found out myself :)
Until next time... peace be with you all.

Friday, February 24, 2006

After reading many many Libyan blogs, I decided that I would jump on the so called wagon and create my own. So here I am creating my first blog and who knows where it can take me. For years I've always wanted to write a book something similar to this.. Why do I want to write a book? Well after many many Libyan stories and just crazy events that have happened to me, my friends (who are mostly non Libyan) told me that I should write a book and even one claimed: "Dude you write a book, I will definitely buy it!!" so it got me thinking.. hmm why not??! But due to my serious case of procrastination... I am still in phase one of writing my so called book: thinking stage... and I have been stuck in this phase for 3 years now? Yah give or take...

so for now this blog will have to do until I can get myself together and start writing my book.. which by the way I plan to write when I have free time.. ( I was thinking when I'm on maternity leave! Yes because the way I see it.. by then I must have free time!!.. I will be out of school, and If im working I would use the "maternity leave" to go and write my book.. and I plan to marry an "understanding" Libyan guy who will support me in doing so .. hehehe But putting marriage and Mr. perfect on the side for now.. this is what is going on in my life:

I am Libyan, I have lived most of my life.. well technically all of my life abroad.. and yet I have this love for Libya that cannot be expressed in words.. and even so.. I don't think I would do a really good job of expressing it because it would simply not be enough. I only get to visit Libya during the summers and I love every minute of it. I feel like I have this strong attachment to this country. You know, the first time I visited Libya was back in 1996, at the time there was an embargo and we arrived in Tunisia so that we would enter Libya by car... (oh the memories.. I will definitely be adding that experience in my book) anyway, I'm in the airport and I realize OMG I am only one country away from being inside Libya.. and my heart races... and I mean it.. I feel like there is this uttermost joy in my chest that I fear that I will pass out before I even get the chance to be reunited with my long lost love! For a minute I know how it feels like to have a long distance relationship and the waiting of two lovers who are about to meet after such a long time of being apart... but in my case, its me and a country.. strange? maybe.. but even so, I could not wait to go to Libya. So since 96, I have been visiting Libya every summer and occasionally during the winter breaks when I got the chance. My love for Libya has grown and grown by every trip that I am "musur" that I want to move back.

So here I am, 24, with 2 degrees.. and the third on its way Insha-Allah, and I have many many plans and goals that I want to accomplish in Libya. Maybe I wont be known there as a big name but if I can help people and better their lives in even a small way then I know I have done what I was put on this earth to do. Crazy? maybe.. but I like to think of it as "ambition that knows no end." I will talk about it here and hopefully as it unfolds and include the good, the bad, the ugly of how it all comes down ;)

Enjoy and thanks for visiting my blog