Confessions of a libyan girl

I think the title says it all!

Location: Benghazi, Libya

Friday, February 24, 2006

After reading many many Libyan blogs, I decided that I would jump on the so called wagon and create my own. So here I am creating my first blog and who knows where it can take me. For years I've always wanted to write a book something similar to this.. Why do I want to write a book? Well after many many Libyan stories and just crazy events that have happened to me, my friends (who are mostly non Libyan) told me that I should write a book and even one claimed: "Dude you write a book, I will definitely buy it!!" so it got me thinking.. hmm why not??! But due to my serious case of procrastination... I am still in phase one of writing my so called book: thinking stage... and I have been stuck in this phase for 3 years now? Yah give or take...

so for now this blog will have to do until I can get myself together and start writing my book.. which by the way I plan to write when I have free time.. ( I was thinking when I'm on maternity leave! Yes because the way I see it.. by then I must have free time!!.. I will be out of school, and If im working I would use the "maternity leave" to go and write my book.. and I plan to marry an "understanding" Libyan guy who will support me in doing so .. hehehe But putting marriage and Mr. perfect on the side for now.. this is what is going on in my life:

I am Libyan, I have lived most of my life.. well technically all of my life abroad.. and yet I have this love for Libya that cannot be expressed in words.. and even so.. I don't think I would do a really good job of expressing it because it would simply not be enough. I only get to visit Libya during the summers and I love every minute of it. I feel like I have this strong attachment to this country. You know, the first time I visited Libya was back in 1996, at the time there was an embargo and we arrived in Tunisia so that we would enter Libya by car... (oh the memories.. I will definitely be adding that experience in my book) anyway, I'm in the airport and I realize OMG I am only one country away from being inside Libya.. and my heart races... and I mean it.. I feel like there is this uttermost joy in my chest that I fear that I will pass out before I even get the chance to be reunited with my long lost love! For a minute I know how it feels like to have a long distance relationship and the waiting of two lovers who are about to meet after such a long time of being apart... but in my case, its me and a country.. strange? maybe.. but even so, I could not wait to go to Libya. So since 96, I have been visiting Libya every summer and occasionally during the winter breaks when I got the chance. My love for Libya has grown and grown by every trip that I am "musur" that I want to move back.

So here I am, 24, with 2 degrees.. and the third on its way Insha-Allah, and I have many many plans and goals that I want to accomplish in Libya. Maybe I wont be known there as a big name but if I can help people and better their lives in even a small way then I know I have done what I was put on this earth to do. Crazy? maybe.. but I like to think of it as "ambition that knows no end." I will talk about it here and hopefully as it unfolds and include the good, the bad, the ugly of how it all comes down ;)

Enjoy and thanks for visiting my blog